From THE BOYS' AND GIRL'S LITTLE BOOK OF ALCOHOL, available though iTunes and Amazon and soon Barnes and Noble:
The occasion of our marriage brought Bruce and me face to face with one of our worst habits: regifting liquor we don’t like. There are those who find regifting itself to be poor etiquette; to them I say, “shove it, sister.” A bowl may be perfectly lovely but not your style; if you happen to have a friend who you know would love it, then give it to her/him (unless of course s/he was the one who gave it to you in the first place, in which case you’ve wrecked the whole thing and may as well flush yourself down the nearest commode.)
The occasion of our marriage brought Bruce and me face to face with one of our worst habits: regifting liquor we don’t like. There are those who find regifting itself to be poor etiquette; to them I say, “shove it, sister.” A bowl may be perfectly lovely but not your style; if you happen to have a friend who you know would love it, then give it to her/him (unless of course s/he was the one who gave it to you in the first place, in which case you’ve wrecked the whole thing and may as well flush yourself down the nearest commode.)
But
giving liquor is itself a problem, because the recipient(s) may very well know
their stuff. The friend of relative whose occasion you’re celebrating may
instantly figure out that you’ve surveyed the $10 wine rack and picked the one
with the most tasteful label on the theory that if a winemaker can hire a good
graphic designer it can make equally good wine. This is quite the wrong
approach to take when buying liquor, especially wine. With wine, you are well
advised to do the girlie thing and ask
for help. If your wine store staff knows anything at all, they’ll steer you
toward the $15 to $20 section and provide you with a wine that tastes like it
cost significantly more.
As
for champagne, the same rule applies. Guys, forget your natural aversion to
asking for directions or assistance of any kind; get over yourself, Butch. For God’s sake don’t waste your money on Dom
Perignon unless you know for a fact that the recipient is as stupid as you are.
Go for something just as delicious but much cheaper—information that any wine
merchant will know off the top off his or her head.
With
hard liquors, it can either be easy or impossible, depending on your knowledge
of the gifted one’s tastes. If you know s/he likes a certain single malt
scotch, the choice has been made for you; if you’re unsure whether s/he likes
scotch at all, presenting a bottle of Talisker or Oban will only ensure that it
will be regifted to someone you don’t even know, so don’t waste your cash.
My
suggestion: Find the best liquor store in your area, ask for help in choosing a
reasonably priced wine or sparkling wine (all champagne is sparkling white, but
not all sparkling white is champagne), and you can’t go wrong.
And
one more thing: don’t arrive at any party bearing a bottle of wine or champagne
and expect that your host will open it and serve it that evening. It may not go
with what s/he’s planned; s/he may have already carefully chosen the wines to
go with the courses, and so on. Do not take offense. It’s the gift recipient’s
decision whether or not to serve it, not yours.
